Eliminate or Be Eliminated – Round 17 – The Final 64

WELCOME TO THE BIG DANCE…

Final 64 time in the AFL Dream Team Eliminator, and everyone wants a piece of the BIG MAN ON CAMPUS…

I wish I could say we are Duke, or better yet Kansas – but the truth is, we’re more like the Davidson College Wildcats – riding our star as far into the tourney as I can.

Problem is, our star is Gary Ablett Jr., and he’s bopping around in a bloody moonboot.

Against all odds, we got the W last week when hopelessly outmatched, thanks to more than one shocking effort by some of Adelaide’s finest – Adelaide, the street where they roll the footpaths up at 9pm.

Consider this – I would have lost if:

• Stiffy Johncock scored at least 72
• Chad Cornes scored at least 60
• Kane Cornes scored a ton

All while Bock Bock Bocky snagged an acceptable 82 and we celebrated long into the night. Bringing us to this week…

Our first time on National TV, and it’s against the 18th rank in the world – Chappies Assault, led by the second best bald man down Geelong way, Paul Chapman. Not a great welcome to the big dance for a lowly 797th ranked side such as us, Pay The Rent. We’re ranked 56th. It’s time to go bracket busting…

The time has come…

So what’s it going to be lads? Are we going to just go quietly into the night? Or are we a team of DESTINY? Osborne – stop scuffling with Didak and listen UP!

To say fair’s fair…

This is a game. This is a man’s game. Carazzo – are you a man, or are you just going to tag like Ratts tells you to? NO! Run off at all costs! Give and go, give and go, give and go – that’s our motto.

To pay the rent…

Xav – you’ve been dodging the bloody rent ALL YEAR. It’s time to PULL YOUR WEIGHT! I’m looking at you too Shaw. You’re playing about as well as your uncle’s special comments. You both make me cringe.

To pay our share…

Urquhart, Cotchin – your share is required now. Cotch, I know you scored 120 2 weeks back, but you were on the bench son. Smarten up! And Peter Burgoyne – you’re not being clever paying your share by taking the week off, you’re being plain WEAK. You disgust me. You better hope we’re still going next week, or you’ll have JB to answer to.

How do we dance while our earth is turning…

And my guts are churning. Somehow we have to stop Bartel, Corey, Kane Cornes (again), Cross, Riewoldt … the list goes on. Mackie, Didak – you’ve been my secret weapons for weeks, but now you’ve been rendered ineffective as you’re not unique this week.

How do we sleep while our beds are burning…

Let’s put it this way … Swanny, Juddy, McMahon, Birch, Matty Stokes – get the job done or they’ll set all our beds on fire…