Live Updates – Adelaide Crows v Hawthorn Hawks – Round 12 at AAMI Stadium

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AFL Round 12 – Adelaide Crows v Hawthorn Hawks – 7.10pm ACST/7.40pm AEST Live from AAMI Stadium

Welcome to tonight’s blockbuster clash in Adelaide – they won’t be rolling up the footpaths at 9pm tonight! Top of the table Hawks take on the 4th placed Crows in their second clash of the year – the Hawks got the mustard in Round 4. In the back of both teams mind will still be when Buddy Love destroyed Adelaide hopes in last year’s elimination final.

Talk around the traps is that Croad will be missing for the Hawks, and the Crows are in to clear favouritism with all betting agencies. Interesting to see the conditions and who matches up on Buddy Franklin tonight – a typical cold dewy night in Adelaide and two of the best key backs in Rutten and Bock will really show us what the freakish Hawk is made of.

Murphy looks to be Croad’s replacement.

Scotty Thompson has been in wonderful form lately, and has an excellent track record against the Hawks. Looks set for another beauty, especially with no Sewell still out with that shoulder injury.

Was a no contest tonight picking which game to cover – no need to cut short a young life by subjecting myself to the typical Swans v Saints borefest. Those two teams are putting on another ripping specatcle – nearly 20 mins in and the Saints lead it 13 to 11. Horrid.

Loving Blighty’s presence in the box – will provide plenty of material as usual. Conditions are apparently perfect, and I’m primed for a big one! Hopefully the players follow my lead – I could run through a brick wall at the moment. If only the AFL had some pre game NBA Finals introductions – it might get all too much for a lowly net reporter.

Appears Reilly is a late scratching, and Otten comes in for his debut. Don’t quote me on it though.

Already these maniacs in the box are at work – we’ve just had a Buddy Love/John Travolta from Wallsy. This is what happens when you inject a bit of Blight magic into the box.

First Quarter

20:00 – Bock to Buddy. Rutten to Roughie. Thompson has brought his own ball to play with again and already has a shot on goal. Sprays it, its 1-0 Crows. McLeod is up forward.

18:20 – Porplysia sprays one from the same pocket. 2-0. McLeod getting a lot of it early, about time he’s been everyone’s least favourite Dream Teamer in the last few weeks. Time to come good Andy! Goal to Bernie Vince and its 8-0 Crows.

17:00 – Jericho lining up from 25. Hawks still haven’t had a stat! But another spray 9-0

16:20 – Jericho snags one from the square after a horrible display from Ellis in the back pocket. 15-0 Crows.

15:40 – Douglas running with Chance Bateman, who’s come up from his nasty corkie last week. Shirley running with Hodge.

14:40 – Osborne slots the first goal for the Hawks and despite being horribly overrun early, they’re only down 9. 15-6 with some great action early. 23-16 in the 2nd term in Sydney, gonna have to be smart with the remote this week and be sure not to catch a replay of that one.

14:20 – The night’s first Beam and Coke enters the fray.

12:40 – Cyril lining up for goal now. It’s a new era for me, usually I’m a big fan of Cyril’s work but I’ve upgraded him to Buddy Love this week and my eliminator opponent has kept Rioli in the forward line. Obviously he’s drilled it and its 15-12.

12:10 – Andy Otten into the game as Bassett goes down to the rooms – missed what’s happened to him as tonight’s Beef Schnitzel also comes off the bench, tagged by an excellent serve of potato bake. Setting up better than Clarko’s Cluster at the minute me.

10:00 – Buddy Love missed one with his first kick in general play, and now Tippet has shanked one up the other end. 16-13.

8:10 – Call me slow but I’ve just realised having the job on Buddy is going to put the slows on Bock’s output tonight. Real Dream Team killer that one.

6:50 – As good as Franklin is, his defensive pressure just then was totally nonexistant. Let the ball come back out way too easily. The crowd is going nuts whenever Bock shuts down his nemesis, amazing scenes.

5:20 – Blighty in wonderful nick early, bringing up the topic of a night GF. If he wasn’t such a loose unit I’d swear he rocks up with a notebook of touchy subjects to spring on his unsuspecting partners through the night. Another point to Buddy and it’s 16-14.

3:30 – I might be wrong – Bock looks pretty keen to run off Buddy, might not be a total disaster from a DT perspective. This is what my life is turning into obviously, and I’m not entirely keen on where it’s heading.

2:00 – The Goose Step is back! And another behind for Buddy – a scintillating 0.3 so far this quarter. McLeod got an important touch on him to send the kick astray then.

The quarter ends and it’s 16-15 Crows. Good close start with both teams squandering opportunities. McLeod is leading all possession getters with 11. Rutten has 8 with an astonishing 8 marks already. Ellis and Lewis lead the Hawks with 7 each. BOG so far goes to the missus with an excellent tea service, setting the scene for a strong dessert in the second quarter.

Second Quarter

19:00 – Tyson Edwards lines up the first shot of the 2nd term and sticks it through the hey diddle. 22-15. One of the most underrated players in the comp and still providing plenty at 32.

18:20 – Fair old melt by Chance Bateman, getting pinged for holding the ball and giving away a stupid 50m penalty. Costs the Hawks a goal, but surprisingly doesn’t earn him a spot on the bench. Channel Ten straight onto it by showing his heart rate – $1,000 to anyone who can draw a conclusion from the 165bpm. A thermometer on his brain might be more appropriate.

17:55 – Get the thermometer on no.2 in green – shocking advantage call that can only come down to a total overheat of the neural vicinity – ‘WRONG DECISION YOU GOOSE’ says Blighty – Blighty you are the greatest! Hawks go up the other end and Buddy feeds Mark Williams for a Hawks goal. Blighty says “I don’t bag umpires” as he points out exactly what a shocking decision it was.

15:20 – Bock is magnifying Buddy’s defensive weaknesses. And BANG – BUDDY HAS JUST GONE THROUGH WITH A HEAD HIGH BUMP!! REPORTED!! Got him in the head, looked worse in real time I think than the slo-mo. Still nervous times for the larger-than-life star. Crows have got a shot on goal now with Scotty Thompson – old stagers McLeod and Edwards again instrumental in the setup. Wow he missed from right in front. 30-21.

13:13 – Fanfooty chat box giving some expert comments on Buddy’s report – OzMan: buddy you dumb f*** you stupid dumb f*** – make your own conclusions. Going to be a fair media circus with this one. Might I add I made a shocking call in the first quarter – Bock is taking on Buddy back the other way and racking them up, really terrific play. Is Buddy the best offensive yet worst defensive player in the league? Just throwing it out there…

9:50 – Buddy to take a shot on goal thanks to a soft free against Bock. Hang on, RIDICULOUS is a better word. Hear the BOOOS at AAMI. But now hear the ROAR as Franklin sticks it out on the full! By the way Syd lead 51-25 at HT.

7:50 – Neil Craig unloads an F-Bomb in the box as the Rough Nut sticks one through the sticks and its back to 3 pts. 2 Rough 2 Tough says the banner and it was spot on there. Edge has tipped him to kick it through from 40m straight in front on MSN and is now calling for a mention in the updates for his Nostradamus like accuracy. Is this a mention?

6:50 – Bateman looks to have pinged a hammy.

5:30 – More cheers for Bock, merely for a handball receive. Incredible.

4:55 – Hawks to have a shot on goal as Douglas fires one straight out on the full from 40. Williams to take a shot from where Blight says he’s seen 1 goal in 33 years. Make that 2 – Hawks hit the front 33-31. Blighty loving the action and raising the other 3 stiffs in the box to his level in sensational fashion.

4:40 – Renouf into the ruck fro the Hawks. Should the Crows ruckman be looking to run off him? If you run off Renouf often enough you’ll score tries… hmm maybe not.

3:35 – Thompson misses another shot at goal – missed everything in fact but fortune is with the Crows and the resulting square up to the top of the square ends in Porplysia’s mitts and Crows are back in front – 37-34.

1:11 – Wiliams with another shot on goal, will be a huge lift for the Hawks to regain the lead before HT. Slight hook though and just a minor score. 37-35.

0:30 – Blighty digs into the notebook and brings up the topic of interchange – saying its brought luck into the game. Pumped for his random third quarter topic as the siren goes for half time.

Wallsy’s take on the game – it’s a low scoring game, every goal is really important, because there’s not many of them. Revolutionary – that’s why he has such a big fan base.

Leading ball magnets on the ground – 17 for Van Berlo, 16 for Thompson and 15 for Xav Ellis and Bock Bock Bocky. For the fantasy nuts out there, DT scores see Nathan making a Bockery of my early comments by leading all scorers with a whopping 76 at the break (give myself an uppercut for that one). 70 for Rutten (double checked 17 times for accuracy) and 68 for Mark Williams.

On to the half time discussion with Andy Maher (seriously how does this bloke get a gig?) and Luke Darcy – and the media are all over Buddy’s report already. I’m thinking it’s going to be a shame if Buddy does go for that, and he has to have some hope with the Goodes debacle during the week.

Haha geez the Whitnall brothers took each other on in country footy today, both brothers look like they’ve eaten each others children in a fit of rage. Can’t wait for this story after the break.

Herald Sun report out already – PUT your Brownlow betting on hold- Lance Franklin has been suspended tonight as Adelaide leads Hawthorn by two points at AAMI Stadium. – I promise I didn’t make it up – that is their opening sentence – http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/sport/afl/story/0,26576,23864405-5015544,00.html – who is writing this dribble – And getting paid for it! Mark Tesoriero apparently – obviously pinch hitting taking a break from reporting on the bloody dressage or something – never heard of him.

Apparently someone had 10g on Buddy for the Brownlow yesterday – talk about sick in the guts!

3rd Quarter

19:10 – Buddy has gone into the backline ‘chasing kicks’! Blighty loves the idea of him having a bit of a blowout. Haha now Blighty pulls out the “I don’t say much about the umpires” line again and Tim Lane has jumped all over him. I’m copping a hiding at BigFooty for sticking up for Blighty but I’m sticking to my guns.

17:45 – Roughie hits the post and its 37-36.

17:10 – Wonderful running goal by Mitchell puts the Hawks in front by 5.

14:20 – Fair circle work going on at the moment – Crows look lame up forward with Jericho their main target at the minute. As I type Lewis gives away a silly 50m penalty which he is becoming renowned for, bringing Douglas from right half back to 20m out for some incredible reason! Goal results and its 44-42 Crows.

10:30 – Not a whole lot happening as the ball rebounds back and forth. Swans v Saints game has exploded scoring wise of course as this game is stuck at 44-42. “Old fashioned 70s football” according to Quartermain. Just my luck. Is it too late to change the channel?

8:20 – Buddy leading up to the wing to get a touch as Bock is letting him go. Finally Williams takes a mark inside 50 from a nice pass from Jarryd Coolhead and we might see a goal. Please. Williams doesn’t miss these. Except this one. 44-43.

6:40 – Not only can I not tip (see Eagles/Kangas this week) I can’t even pick the best spectacle when one game is Swans v Saints. Can it just be bad luck?

5:40 – Blighty chips in saying this game has “lost a bit of momentum hasn’t it?” Right on cue the Hawks turn it over and the Porpoise slams it through to give the Crows a 7 pt lead. The crowd is alive again and Clarko is going off in the box like Brett Stubbs has snuck in the back and is asking to take his daughter out to Hogs Breath.

5:15 – Another one for the Porpoise! Crows are getting away now. Clarko going beserk and Blighty is loving it – he’s cracking up the box. Don’t like Stubbsy’s chances. Blighty has come to life – he’s now chipping in with words here and there during the action. Goal now to Roughie and the game is alive! Thank goodness!

4:25 – Blighty meets an umpire’s comments to Doughty with a brutal “AWW JUST UMPIRE!” Hates to comment on the umps this fella. All of a sudden this game has gone up a cog – right when it needed to.

2:20 – The Rough One is really stepping up in the absence of a Buddy Bag. Another goal to Roughie and the Hawks are again back within a point.

1:50 – Blighty shoots down Wallsy’s suggestion maybe Bock should be moved onto the One with the Rougher Head. Put him in his place Malcolm – Wallsy has been surprisingly quiet tonight.

0:09 – Bernie Vince to have a shot on the siren with the Crows up 2. No good, although he had the crowd keen mid flight. 3 points the diff going into the final stanza.

Bock Bock Bocky leads all magnets with 25 of the cheapest down back, from Thompson, Van Berlo, and Johncock with 23. Sammy Mitchell leads the Hawks with 20. Try 111 on for size for Bock for all you DT freaks, Edwards and Thompson have both cracked the ton also. Lance Buddy Love Disco (work Edge in the comments) Franklin is stinkin it up with a lazy 38.

Swans are home in Sydney, Goodes appears to be running riot – I’ve finally realised the AFL couldn’t rub him out of that one – who else would it be worth going to see?

Seems Lewis and Osborne both have hamstring tightness as well.

Basset out with neck/shoulder complaint – only took me 3 quarters to get onto that news. Work me.

Final Quarter

19:45 – Ball finds it’s way into Bock’s hands twice already keep racking it up son.

18:40 – Hungry Buddy hits the post for another behind. No signs of squaring it up there. Seems every time I type a fullstop I look up and Bock has the nurry. ……. Go Bocky.

17:05 – Geez Goodwin just blows a chance to get more than a goal in front.

16:10 – Clarko is going off after Williams makes a meal of another inside 50 mark. Might hit him up on Facebook for an interview – how scary could he be?

14:45 – Old Tyson lining up with a huge chance to go 8 clear. Got it. Might I add Blighty to Wallsy has been like Kryptonite to Superman tonight – Rob seems to have gone missing, I can’t remember him having such little impact in a call. Is he intimidated by Blighty’s commentarial genius? Is commentarial even a word? It is now, Blighty deserves his own adjectives.

11:55 – BUDDY! Will be shooting right in front from about 50. Time to put your stamp on things, Hawks need this one.

11:22 – HE’S DRIIIIIIILLLLLEEEDDDDDDD IT! GAME ON!

11:13 – Obviously by the times in my last couple of updates Buddy is immune from the mythical “20 seconds to have a shot because Scotty Cummings ruined it for everyone’ rule.

10:00 – Despite Buddy Franklin running riot through the guts the Hawks couldn’t get a shot on goal and the Crows take it back the other way ending with a Jericho goal. 71-63 Crows. Clarko looks like a stunned mullet. Blighty getting carried away saying Buddy could play midfield because he’s gone on 3 runs through the middle in 3 years.

9:08 – Osborne has just kicked a fantastic running goal to cut it back to 2 once again. He’s been excellent tonight. As he was playing in the U15s for Labrador according to Wallsy. Blighty picks up on the breeze favouring the Hawks – who said he was merely there for comic reasons? Wonderful point.

8:05 – Gotta give some respect to Buddy – hasn’t been on song up forward but has been spending a lot of time up the ground to have some impact on the game. Wow Lewis was just robbed of a free kick 20m out. SHOCKING CALL says Wallsy. Totally agree with him, and it could prove costly.

6:30 – Morton is down, think he got one in the head. First Morton to put his head over the nut surely.

5:30 – Good stuff by Stevens but you could see the fear in his eyes after giving off the handball when he saw it coming back to him and he was going to have to make another precise pass. Scott Thompson should have just got 50m from a mark at 60m which could have iced things. The aliens in green are feeling the pressure also and not handling it well at all.

RED TIME – HAVOC FOR THE LIVE UPDATES AS TEN SCREW US BY TAKING AWAY THE COUNTDOWN CLOCK!

So no time stamps but Hodge has just kicked an absolute ripper – coolness under pressure that Richie Benaud would be proud of. Hawks in front! 75-71.

Edwards has a snap but can’t convert! Back to 3 pts, and this game has jumped about 10 notches!

Oooooooh Buddy had the chance to ice the game with 2 running bounces, and it looked like it was going to curl around nicely but as soon as it came around it went right back the other way and just missed! Back to 4 points and all the run is with the Hawks.

Hawks are icing the clock – and no one does it better than them. They’ve come a long way from when they used to infuriate their fans by ‘stuffing around with it down back’. Even The Big Rough Nut is deep in defence providing an option, and using it terrifically.

AND THERE’S THE SIREN!!!! HAWKS WIN!!!!

What a great effort by the Hawks. Only one goal from Buddy, but players like Williams, Osborne and Roughie stepped up to the mark. Mitchell and Hodge were good as always, Hodge especially having a monster last term when it counted, and Campbell Brown ever dependable down back.

Bitter disappointment for the Crows having led most of the night. Some huge stats, but again their forward line broke down and in the end it has cost them the W. Huge game from Bock – put the acid to Buddy and beat him hands down. Others like Edwards, Johncock, Thompson and Van Berlo found a ton of the ball, and to be honest they controlled most of the game. Just no ‘scoreboard pressure’ and in the end it has been to their detriment.

As big a win as it was – all eyes will be firmly on the Match Review Panel to see how they find the Buddy Franklin head high bump. I really hope nothing comes of it – but faith in the judiciary is something I’m seriously lacking at the moment – going hand in hand with their apparent lack of common sense and consistency. Quote me on that.

For all you freaks on DT treats here’s the major point scores before I sign off – 151 Bock, 141 Thompson, 129 Johncock, 124 Edwards, 117 Vince, 115 Brown, 114 Williams, 113 Van Berlo. Some mighty scores there to gloss over.

Hope you all enjoyed the updates and a shout out to Edge for carrying the comments until he became snowed under by an excessive amount of Vodka Red Bull. I’m off to check the live scores in the Eliminator in my quest for the Aurion.