Who Runs The League - The AFL or Collingwood? Heffernan’s Spray

One of the more controversial points of recent years - the ‘clash strip’ debate - once again reared it’s ugly head on the weekend with the Kangaroos donning Hernan Crespo’s old jersey for their clash with the Pies at Telstra Dome. So why do the Kangaroos have to wear a clash strip for their home game? Apparently - because the AFL said so. And for that, they will cop a spray.

Before I start - let me throw out an honourable mention this week to the umpire who didn’t have the stones to pay 50m against Buddy Franklin in the dying stages of the Hawks v Blues clash. One big WTF to you sir. A monumental mistake which just shouldn’t happen. But you’ve got out rather unscathed, so I suggest you at least send a bottle of the good stuff Brendan Fevola’s way.

But back to the clash strip debacle. There has been a rumour doing the rounds that the reason the Kangas wore their clash strip was they had made a deal to allow them to host the game at the Dome, as long as Collingwood wore their home strip.

Incorrect - according to Kangas president Eugene Arocca:

The only agreement we have is with the AFL. They tell us what to wear. They tell us we have to wear the clash strip that doesn’t clash with Collingwood.

So the Kangas run out looking like the Argentinian soccer team, and kicked about as many goals as their South American lookalikes. Meanwhile the Pies keep their black and white stripes, which they seem to hold on to while the 15 other clubs come up with all sorts of reverse-coloured rubbish to satisfy the bigwigs at AFL headquarters.

Which begs the question - why don’t the Pies have to come up with a proper clash strip? I’m sure the brainstrust of the Melbourne Footy Club would have been rapt if they didn’t have to come up with the horrendous silver number they send their struggling team out in - their players get punished enough as it is.

So who is running the bloody game? Is it the AFL, or the Collingwood Football Club?

The Kangas were allegedly threatened with a $100,000 fine if they ran out in their traditional jumper. $100,000 to wear their own jumper, for their own home game.

Why don’t the AFL fine Collingwood instead? 15 other clubs have reluctantly designed an acceptable clash strip. Collingwood haven’t. Instead they threaten the AFL themselves - remember this?

Collingwood president Eddie McGuire vowed in May that Magpies fans would not attend the Round 16 match against North Melbourne if players were forced to wear another jumper.

The AFL has ordered North to wear a clash jumper against the Pies, despite it being the home side.

“Don’t North want the Collingwood people to turn up to that game? If we’re forced to wear another jumper, we’ll put a big screen down at the Lexus Centre and say, ‘Come and watch it down there’,” McGuire said.

How about this classic from Eddie:

We don’t want to wear anything but black and white stripes. This jumper thing, at our club it’s everything.

I’m sure I’m not the only one who can remember the big Magpie they toyed with on their strip years ago. Even still - that’s not the point. Collingwood’s jumper is no more important than anyone else’s.

The AFL is meant to be running the game. How about telling the Pies to tell their story walking, and fine the crap out of them until they start toeing the line. Dock them premiership points. Take their draft picks off them. Obviously this is all overboard, but that is the point - it wouldn’t come to this if the AFL showed who is boss rather than being dictated to and then turning their attention to picking on weak clubs like the Kangas.

It’s pretty simple. 16 clubs. 16 clash strips. If you don’t like it, tough. Piss off to the VFL if you want. How is this even an issue? Unless there’s something behind the scenes. If that’s the case - feel free to fill us in and clear everything up.

The whole situation is laughable. Unless you’re a Kangas supporter.

In which case, you could be forgiven for giving Demetriou and his crew a gobful if you ever get the chance.